Have You Ever Had A Pity Party For One?

DR Rawson • Jan 31, 2022

Did you invite others?


What’s it like to have a party where the only one there is you? Why are you having a party? What are you celebrating? What excites you? Is there a problem?


As a boy of nine, my family found itself homeless. Our little family consisted of Mom, my sister Diane, brother Dave, and the youngest sibling, Dale Jean (age 3). A couple of weeks earlier, we lived in a two-story home with four bedrooms and a single-car garage. Oddly enough, the name of the sub-division was Story Book homes. Their sales motto was, “Every family has a unique story.”


Mom was twenty-three years old and had never worked outside our home or her parent's home. I was the oldest and tallest of the children. I was five feet seven inches tall. My mother was five feet ten inches tall.


Within a day of being homeless, I realized that we would starve t if I didn’t figure out a way to find love. Through an old friend of my mom, we found a garage we could live in, and the people would let us use their shower. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but we were alive.


As the newest poor kid in school, everyone let others know that I was poor like them, no father. They also made sure that no one would talk to me. The school was all Hispanic and five miles from the Mexican border. As a blonde hair blue-eyed boy, I stood out. Learning some Spanish was essential to our family's survival.


After a week or so, I found another boy like me. He was homeless and not Hispanic. When I met him, I didn’t like him. Everything he said was depressing. Everything was bad. Everything was against him. He was only a child. His mom worked sewing clothes.


One day, I was excited when I found a new restaurant to get food for my family. It was a large family-owned Italian restaurant. In the back, there was a sea of galvanized trash cans. Most of them really dirty and beat up. However, the real prize was inside. There was leftover pizza, bread, meat, sandwiches, and pasta. Of course, there were lots of pasta.

I showed my friend, and he said, “That food is dirty; I’m not going to eat after someone else! I said, “So, you’d rather starve?” He said, “We won’t starve, my mom knows lots of people, and they give us food. They are our friends.”



We argued for a few minutes then he said something that filled me with hope and inspiration. He said, “Besides, we’ll always be poor. No one cares about us.” What about your mom’s friends,” I said. He said, “They drop the food off. Most of the time, they leave it at the door. You’ll always be as poor as we are. So eating dirty food is going to help much.” He couldn’t be further from the truth.


His little pity party, for one, wasn’t something I enjoyed. But, inside, I kept saying, you might be wrong, over and over again. 


On the way home from his place, I stopped to talk with an old man with only one leg. He sat on the same corner every day. People would give him money and sometimes food or coffee. 


I told him about the conversation with my friend a few hours before. So here was his council to me. 


Only you can decide what you want from me. No one can make you do or feel something you’re not unless you let them. Don’t let the present or the past hold the future hostage. Lastly, he said, “Just because someone throws a pity party, it doesn’t mean you have to attend.”


Wise counsel.

By DR Rawson 20 Nov, 2022
You can address your comment to one or millions since 1964.
01 Jul, 2022
Admiration, that’s how it began for me. My parents died at age 42 and 44 respectively. At 19 years of age, I would begin my family with a wife of two years, a 15-year-old brother, and a 13-year-old sister. The only person older than me was my Grandfather. He called me to say that I was not alone. He told me to rely on prayer. He also said, anytime I didn’t know what to do (next), give him a call. I did. Over the ensuing years, there were many calls. There were more in the beginning and less as my family, including my siblings, grew to eight (for a time). My Grandfather said, “When you call, I will give you the principle upon which to make a decision. Make no mistake, the decision will be yours and yours alone.” When he was 87 he called me from Lake Isabella where he was living. I was living in Bakersfield, CA, and was reasonably close to him. I was forty minutes away. He said, “DR, I need you to pick me up today and take me to the hospital.” I asked why, knowing he would tell me in his own time. When I arrived, he was packed and quickened his pace to get in my car. He was not a man of many words. However, on the way to the hospital, he became “chatty Kathy.” He had so much that he wanted to say to me. He could hardly speak fast enough. Included were instructions, words of wisdom and so much more. Just before we pulled into the hospital's parking lot, he stopped talking and waited for me to park. Once parked, he said, “Will you become a Mason?” I said, “You know I’m running a business that covers three states. I hardly see my wife and kids now. Why would I take on more?” Here’s what changed my life. He said, “You know all of those principles and values we’ve discussed over the years? I said, “Of course. They have made me a better man.” He said, “How would you feel about becoming a Mason if you understood that the principles and values I’ve shared, have all come from Masonry and or the Bible?” I said, “There’s no doubt, I will be a Mason.” Then he went on to tell me that he had been a Mason since he was 21 years old. How And Why I Became A Mason My wife and I met and spent the next two weeks asking deep questions. You know the ones. The hard questions you think to ask just before you get divorced. Neither of us wanted to fail, again. Our marriage has lasted almost twenty-eight years. It’s because when we committed to each other, we knew what we were getting and what we each wanted. One of those deep questions from me to her was, “My Grandfather asked and then committed me to become a Mason. I don’t know how, but, is that a problem for you?” She said, “No problem here.” I thought great, now I just have to find out how. We’d been married about a year when I told my bride, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my Grandfather and becoming a Mason. Are you still O.K. with that? The next thing she said caught me off guard. Her words were, “Why don’t you call my Dad? He’s been a Mason since 1954. He joined the original Hollywood Lodge. To my surprise, my Father-in-law, Preston M. Jones, PP, 33, PM was well known in California Masonry. He had been an Inspector for the Grand Lodge for over twenty years. He was the El Bekal Potentate in 1981, Master of the International City Lodge in 1982, President of the Scottish Rite Charity in Long Beach, CA, and Master of the Robing Room for more than twenty-five years. It didn’t take long. I asked him to be one (a Mason). Then the process began. I learned so much more than my Grandfather had led me to understand. It wasn’t long before my Father-in-law (Dad) and I were always present at Masonic activities and with our wives. July, in California, is dedicated to letting others know you’re a Mason and why. I hope this story was helpful. See you on the square.
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